Star Crossed Lovers
by booknookgurl
Summary: When Jeffery Steffans and Nicholai Durov meet on a train headed east in 1925 neither teen can predict just how much their lives will change. One night can alter an entire future though and the night Jeff and Nick spend together changes and weaves together their destinies forever. Historical!Niff w/ reincarnation (character death warning)
1. No One Could Have Predicted

**A/N: alright, so this idea had been floating in my head for a while. I went to a train museum and one of the displays was of the 1925 train wreck in Rockport, NJ. I had already seen a sign labeled 3236 and was thinking of Niff and, upon seeing a photo of a newsboy capped young man, began to think of this. In writing this story I in no way intend to insult the victims and families of the victims of this disaster and, although some names are close to ones of actual people in the accident they are in no way connected to them. There is no proof of the events of this story actually taking place and any similarities are coincidental. That being said I do not own Glee, Nick, or Jeff and am not affiliated with DL&W trains or Fox. Lastly, I would like to thank my awesome friends Jameson and Delaney for helping me out with this by telling be about the 20s, writing the story description, and proof reading this long story. Now. Without further ado I present to you Star Crossed Lovers**

Jeffery Steffins sighed as he looked out the window, bored by the never ending view of trees, sky, and drainage ditches. It was the summer of 1925 and Jeffery, or Jeff as he rather be called, and his family were on their way to Hoboken, New Jersey and from there Munich, Germany. The Steffins family, consisting of Jeffery, his younger brother Joseph, his younger sister Jean, and their parents Barbara and Arnold, were a wealthy, well to do family from Chicago, Illinois. Originally from Germany, Arnold had moved to America as a small child and later became a steamship agent for the Great Corn Belt region. Arnold Steffins still remembered his homeland though and, upon hearing of the annual trip to Germany that Leopold Neumann, a fellow steamship agent, had organized, signed his family up immediately. "It will be exciting and a great chance for you to learn of your papa's heritage!" He had told his children.

Now, as he stared at rows of corn and fields of nothing Jeff wondered if getting off at the next stop was a possibility. He learned that he hated trains, and really any travel. A tall, thin boy with long blonde hair, Jeff was full of energy and sitting on a train for days upon days was driving him insane. "Be patient." His mother had said sternly before turning back to her book. Jeff had just huffed and turned away, staring out the window at the boring expanse of land passing by. He'd almost gotten off when the train had stopped at Niagara Falls. The sight was a beautiful one and Jeff hadn't wanted to get back on the stuffy, crowded train. The only reason he hadn't hidden away in some bathroom or simply walked away, was the sight of a new person boarding the train, a person that caught Jeff's eye and smiled at him before climbing into the crew car.

The boy had looked to be about Jeff's age but he was shorter, more muscular, with dark brown hair, a red necktie, and a grey newsboy cap. His eyes had seemed to sparkle at Jeff and the blonde had felt his stomach flop as their eyes had met. It was a brief encounter but it was enough to make Jeff want to stay on the train. He didn't dare voice his reasons to his family though. The Sterling family was a quite liberal one but even they had problems with homosexuality. It just wasn't something that was spoken of. The only person who would speak of such a thing was Jeff's Aunt Eleanor. She was a driven and independent woman who marched in women's rights protests and learned how to drive despite it being dangerous for women to do so. It was also rumored that she kept a female lover hidden somewhere in her hometown of New York City.

Yes, Aunt Eleanor was the only person who would ever speak of homosexuality and she had many times, especially with Jeff. She was the person Jeff had gone to when, at fourteen, he had been told that he would one day marry a beautiful young woman. Jeff had practically been sobbing when he went to his aunt, confessing that he did not want a pretty wife but a strong husband instead. She had comforted him and told him not to fear, that God would not punish him for loving but to keep his thoughts a secret from the rest of the Steffins clan. "They might not take too kindly to you." She had warned. Jeff had nodded and listened to her advice, coming to her for more words of wisdom over the next four years. Now, stuck on a train headed far from his aunt in Chicago though, Jeff was alone.

After the initial meeting, if making eye contact and smiling could be considered a meeting, Jeff learned from another crew member that the brunette was a boy named Nikolai. Later that day Nikolai, looking the same as before minus the necktie, knocked on the door, greeted them politely and stated his name, asking Jeff and his family if they needed anything. There was silence for a moment as Jeff's family looked at one another before Jeff spoke up. "No, we're fine. Thank you." He said, wishing he could make the brunette stay. Nikolai just smiled at him, a handsome smile that reached his eyes and made them look even more beautiful than before, thanked his family, and walked away.

After that encounter Jeff was quiet, thinking of Nikolai, his handsome smile, his hazel eyes, and his slight Russian accent, that lingered as long as it could in Jeff's ear. No matter what Jeff did he could not get his mind off the other male. Finally, after two hours of almost constantly thinking of the brunette Jeff and his family were called to dinner. Their car consisted of themselves and three other families. They all shared a dining room, a living room, a kitchen, and two tiny bathrooms. Luckily all families got along well and spoke amicably about music, art, books, and other trivial things. Dinner was proving to be boring and full of small talk when the door of the kitchen opened and out walked Nikolai and two other men, one an Asian, the other a black man, carrying platters of food. Quietly Jeff watched as Nikolai made his way around the table offering and serving green beans to the guests.

Suddenly Nikolai was right next to Jeff and staring at him expectantly. "Green beans?" Nikolai asked, sounding as if he was repeating his question. "Oh, yes please." Jeff replied hurriedly, glancing from Nikolai to the dish of green beans in his hands. He watched as the brunette gently placed a pile of beans on Jeff's plate before beginning to walk away. "Thank you." Jeff said and he could have sworn he saw Nikolai smile. Jeff hid the blush that was threatening to take over his cheeks by taking a sip of water, holding the cup to his lips until he was sure his face had stopped looking quite so pink. Lucky for Jeff no one but Nikolai, who had smirked, seemed to notice his blush and he was able to continue his meal in bored peace. Then came dessert.

It was some sort of pudding, creamy in both texture and color. Jeff didn't know what it tasted like. His ended up in his lap after all. Just like during the main course Nikolai and the two other crew members went around the table offering guests a dish of pudding. As Nikolai approached Jeff, leaning over slightly to offer a pudding to the blonde the train gave a particularly violent lurch and the brunette stumbled, sending pudding dishes flying through the air and landing on Jeff. There was a moment of silence as everyone in the room noticed what had happened then suddenly Nikolai began speaking.

"I'm sorry sir. I'm really sorry. It was an accident. I did not mean to." He stammered out, fear evident in his voice. "Aye ya! Don't just stand there Nikolai, go clean him up!" One of the other crew members, the Asian one, cried out, waving his free hand in ernest. "Yes Wesley." Nikolai said quickly before turning to face Jeff. "Let's go to the kitchen. We can get most of this off before you go change." He said sheepishly and Jeff nodded and stood up, trying not to get pudding everywhere. He was silent as Nikolas led him into the cramped kitchen area, trying to remain calm. He was headed into a secluded area with an attractive man but he couldn't show his emotions. He didn't know Nikolas after all, the brunette could be the opposite of what Jeff thought he was.

"I'm really sorry about this." Nikolai said again as he grabbed a towel and wetted it in the sink. "It's fine, this train trip needed to be made more interesting anyway!" Jeff replied with a smile as Nikolai handed him the damp cloth. "Your idea of interesting is having pudding spilled on you? Fun." Nikolai said sounding almost sarcastic. Jeff scoffed and shook his head as he scrapped pudding off his pants. "It's better than just sitting in the dining area listening to my family and the Schusters make small talk." He admitted and Nikolai chuckled. "I think I need another cloth..." Jeff added, holding up the now pudding soaked one Nikolai had given him. "Oh." Nikolai replied, glancing around for a cloth that did not seem to exist. "It's alright. I can just go back to my cabin and change." Jeff said once he saw there was no cloth to be found. "No, I don't want you trailing pudding through the car." Nikolai replied with a shake of his head, pausing before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the red necktie Jeff had originally seen him in.

Jeff stared at the necktie when Nikolai offered it to him. Red neckties were an underground symbol of homosexuality and Jeff wondered if Nikolai was just fond of red or if he was, in fact, a homosexual. "It's a necktie." Jeff said stupidly as he stared at the fabric. "Yes, it is." Nikolai said. "It's red." Jeff added quietly as he took the fabric and began cleaning his pants. "Yes." Nikolai replied, sounding a bit nervous now. "Are you...?" Jeff asked, looking up into the sparkling brown eyes as he asked. He expected Nikolai to look away or deny the accusations but the brunette did neither. Instead he locked eyes with Jeff and nodded. "Yes." He said breathlessly and Jeff nodded. "Alright." He said and Nikolai raised an eyebrow. "Alright?" He asked in surprise and Jeff nodded. "Did you want me to get angry or something?" Jeff asked and Nikolai shook his head with a laugh. "No, that's fine. Just not the normal reaction." He answered and Jeff nodded. "I'm not against it. Homosexuality." Jeff said before pausing and weighing his options.

If he spoke out he risked his family hearing but also had the chance of having something with this man. If he stayed quiet his family would never know but he would be left alone. Deciding he didn't want to live with what ifs for the rest of his trip Jeff smiled and added "I'm actually..." He started and Nikolai smiled. "I'm Nikolai, call me Nick." He said, holding out a hand. "Jeffery, call me Jeff." Jeff replied, taking Nick's hand and shaking it. "I'm sorry about spilling pudding on you." Nick said sheepishly and Jeff shook his head. "I'm not. I got to meet you." Nick's cheeks turned a pale pink as Jeff said this and Jeff smiled. "That's sweet of you to say." Nick murmured as he leaned in closer. "I should probably get back out there. Or change." Jeff said suddenly, looking down at his pants and pulling away, suddenly nervous. Nick looked at the blonde in shock but nodded. "Alright, sorry again sir." He said and Jeff shrugged. "It's alright. I'll wash this and return it to you." Jeff said with a smile before exiting the kitchen without another glance at Nick.

Jeff didn't end up going back to dinner after changing, instead staying in his, Jean, and Joseph's cabin instead. Soon enough the two younger Steffins arrived in the cabin and made ready for bed. By eleven both Jeff's siblings were sleeping soundly and the car was silent except for the chug chug of the train and the pitter patter of rain. Everyone else seemed to be asleep so when a knock came at the door Jeff was surprised. The knock came again and Jeff looked at the clock on the wall. 11:45, who was up at 11:45? Quickly and quietly he sprung up out of bed and made his way to the door. Jeff's questions about who could be knocking so late were put to rest as he opened the door to reveal a slightly wet looking Nick. "Hello. Care to join me?" He asked quietly and Jeff nodded, grabbing a jacket and shoes before slipping out into the hall.

"What are we doing?" Jeff whispered as he passed by his parents' cabin, following Nick to the back of the car. "We're going on an adventure." Nick replied, his eyes twinkling even in the dimly lit hall. "An adventure? Where to?" Jeff asked and Nick shrugged, gently taking the blonde's hand. "Anywhere." He replied before pushing the door of the train open. Jeff felt his mouth split into a grin as a gust of wind blew in at him and Nick, ruffling their hair. "Come on." Nick said as he stepped out onto the platform between cars. Jeff glanced from the brunette to the rickety metal platform. "What are you waiting for?" Nick asked jokingly and Jeff shook his head sheepishly. "It's alright, I'm right here!" Nick promised, squeezing Jeff's hand before helping him into the next car. "See, no problem." Nick said as they passed through the doorway. Jeff just shook his head with a smile, causing little water droplets to fall from his hair onto his face. "We'll go dry you off." Nick added softly, bringing a hand up to wipe away a raindrop that had fallen on Jeff's cheek.

"Oi! Durov!" A voice called out as the two entered the bench lined cabin. Nick and Jeff looked up at the same time, breaking apart as a black crew member, the same one who had helped serve Jeff earlier that night, marched towards them. "Hello Thompson." Nick said solemnly, letting go of Jeff's hand and nodding at the dark skinned male. "What are you doing?" The man, Thompson, asked, eyeing Jeff warily. "We were just going to go explore the train." Nick said smoothly and Jeff nodded, nervously glancing from Nick to Thompson. He knew nothing about the darker male and had no idea what he thought of him and Nick sneaking around the train together. Thompson nodded, staring directly at Jeff, before smiling. "Alright." He finally said and Jeff felt himself relax. "The dining car is empty. All the other cars have people in them, be careful." Thompson warned, turning to face Nick. "Thanks." Nick said as he grabbed Jeff's hand again and began to lead him through the car. "Oh, and Nick?" Thompson called out, stopping both the blonde and the brunette. "We're stopping in Scranton in a few minutes I hear you're not getting off. Is it true?" Jeff watched as Nick's face hardened and his eyes flitted from Thompson to Jeff. "Yes." He finally replied and Thompson nodded and smiled. "I thought you'd say that. I'll see you in a couple days. Take care of my boy, alright blondie?" he said, turning to Jeff. "I will." Jeff assured the man with a nod before being dragged away by Nick.

"That's David Thompson, we've been friends since I came to America." Nick explained as he led Jeff through the half deserted car. "When was that?" Jeff asked curiously, wanting to know everything about the brunette that was holding his hand. "1912. I was three. Dave lived down the street." Nick explained with a nostalgic smile. "What about you?" He asked as he slid the back door of the car open, Jeff hadn't even realized they'd crossed the entire cabin until the wind and rain blew into his face again. "I was born here. My mother came from Vienna when she was two and my Papa from Germany when he was seven." Jeff explained, his voice rising in volume as the two stepped out onto the metal platform and into the rain. "What about siblings? Do you have any?" Nick called back as he opened the door to the next car and quickly entered it. Jeff paused as he slipped in behind Nick, shaking water out of his hair as he closed the door behind him. "Yes, a brother and a sister. Jean and Joseph. What about you?" Jeff asked as Nick let go of his hand and turned to face him.

"Three but they're all a lot older than me and still live in Russia. I haven't seen them in years." Nick said with a shrug. Jeff nodded, wondering what it was like to have siblings but not know them. "What are your siblings like?" Nick asked as he led Jeff over to one of the many empty tables and sat him down. Jeff smiled at the brunette before launching into an explanation of his siblings and their antics. He told of Joseph's attempts at courtship, Jean's soon to be dance career, and his own love of books. "One day I'll be a writer, traveling the world seeing new places." Jeff said with a fond smile. After speaking of his own family Jeff asked about Nick's and learned of Mrs. Durov's dreams of America, of how he moved and his life growing up in New York City.

"It's great there Jeff. People are so much more accepting than anywhere else I've been." He'd insisted and Jeff believed him. The brunette had been all over while working on with the railroad crew. He'd done the traveling that Jeff dreamed of and spoke excitedly of the Sierra Nevada, the tall redwoods, and how it felt to lie on the beach as the tide came in.  
By the time Nick was done telling of his travels the train was far away from Scranton, having made its stop and then continued on through the rain. "Why did David mention the stop in Scranton earlier?" Jeff asked once there was a lapse in conversation. Nick sighed and shook his head, looking out the window before looking back at the blonde. "I was supposed to get off there. There was a switch in crew." Jeff's eyes widened as Nick spoke. "But you're still here, why?" Jeff asked. "Because an attractive blonde boy looked my way as I was getting back into the train at Niagara falls." Nick admitted sheepishly and Jeff felt his stomach flop. "You… you think I'm attractive?" He asked, not sure he'd actually heard the brunette properly. "Well, yes. Are you surprised?" Nick asked with a smile and Jeff nodded. "A little." Jeff admitted, looking down at the lace table cloth in front of him. "I'm a bit new to this whole courtship... thing." He added, feeling his face turn pink. He felt like an idiot, a little boy trying to pull on the pigtails of the girl he liked.

Jeff heard Nick stand up and watched out of the corner of his eye as the brunette moved to stand next to Jeff's chair. "Listen, Jeff, it's okay. I'm actually kind of new to this too." Nick admitted as he offered a hand to the blonde. "Really?" Jeff asked, surprised that Nick, who seemed so sure and confident, could be new to the idea of a relationship. "Yes. Now come on, look at me." Nick said softly, and Jeff looked up at the brunette, meeting his eyes. "Your eyes sparkle, did you know that?" Jeff blurted out and Nick raised his eyebrows but smiled. "No, but I'm flattered. Come on, I'm tired of sitting, let's lounge." He said, taking Jeff's hand and pulling him over to a couch at the back of the car and wrapping his arms around the blonde. "This is nice." Jeff murmured as he rested his head on Nick's chest, listening to the brunette's heartbeat. He felt as the brunette hummed his agreement and smiled. Never had Jeff ever thought that he would be held by another man the way he was being held now.

The hours seemed to speed by as Nick and Jeff lay together in the empty train car. They spoke for hours about everything and nothing, learning about each other's likes, dislikes, and lives. They talked about Nick's love of radio shows, Jeff's secret ability to tap dance and their shared love of sweet potato pie. Sometimes they just lay in silence, listening to the rain outside. At one point they watched as a fire burned in the distance, wondering about what had happened. "It looks huge." Jeff remarked as he watched the yellow orange glow from out the rain streaked window. The two were quiet for a while after passing the fire, each lost in thought. Jeff nuzzled up to the brunette as the train chugged on, smiling as he felt Nick's arms tighten slightly around him. He didn't want to lose this when he boarded the ship for Europe. He wanted to be able to come back and return to Nick's arms when he did. "Nick?" He asked, moving his head so he could look at the brunette.

"Yeah-" Nick's response was cut off by the sound of screeching wheels and screams. Jeff sat up slightly as the sounds reached them and was about to speak when the car lurched violently and threw him and Nick off the couch. Suddenly everything was flying and the world seemed like it had been tipped on its side. Jeff could hear screaming from far away and suddenly the lights went out. "Nick!" Jeff called out as something hit him from the side and everything became fuzzy. The sounds coming from all around, the screeching noises, the screaming, the sound of things breaking all became muffled, jumbled up. He could hear someone calling his name but it sounded far away. He felt himself hit glass and metal, a window, and then everything faded out of existence.


	2. Of Pathos and Circumstances

**A/N: Hello there, I'm back with part 2 of Star Crossed Lovers. I'm actually a bit amazed by the response I got to this so far. I didn't really think anyone would read it. So thank you! I also changed the summary a bit and changed the chapter titles to fit the story more. As always: in writing this story I in no way intend to insult the victims and families of the victims of this disaster and, although some names are close to ones of actual people in the accident they are in no way connected to them. There is no proof of the events of this story actually taking place and any similarities are coincidental. That being said I do not own Glee, Nick, or Jeff and am not affiliated with DL&W trains or Fox. **

When Jeff woke up the first thing he noticed was how cold he was, the next was that his arm felt like it was on fire. The blonde inhaled sharply as he became fully aware of the pain in his left arm and something to the right of him moved. "Jeff?" It asked, worry lacing the one word. "Nick." Jeff hissed out, trying to focus on something other than the pain he was feeling. "Nick, what happened?" Jeff asked as he tried to look around. It was still pitch black outside but now Jeff thought he could see specks of light. "The train crashed. It- I don't know what happened but our entire car disconnected from the rest of the train. Everything tipped over." Nick replied, his voice eerily calm. Jeff felt his breath catch in his throat as he let the brunette's words sink in. The train had crashed. The train that he was on had crashed.

"Oh my God." Jeff whispered, sitting up slightly and looking around once more. He could hear screams in the distance and, if he lay down and looked up and to the left, could see the specks of light, some moving and some not. "Oh my God." Jeff repeated, feeling his lungs tightening. "We have to get out of here. We have to get out." He said, feeling panic rise in his stomach like bile. He tried to sit up properly but felt his arm jam into something. Shakily Jeff brought his right hand up to his left arm and immediately felt something warm and wet. "I think I'm bleeding. Oh God." Jeff exclaimed, tugging his left arm again. It was stuck, something had pinned it down. "Breathe. You have to stay calm." Nick called out." Jeff just shook his head. "I'm stuck. Oh my god. We have to get out of here. The train crashed." Jeff continued, ignoring Nick as his voice shook. He wasn't even controlling what came out of his mouth, just speaking what was running through his mind and at that point it what Jeff was thinking was a jumbled mess.

"Nick we have to get out. The train crashed. It could explode. We could all die." Jeff babbled on. What had happened? Was it the storm? Were there people out there looking for them? What had happened to Jeff's family? Jeff froze as he thought this. His family. What had happened to them? Were they alive? Were they okay? If the car he and Nick were on had been flung around the way it had surely the sleeping cars, the ones closest to the engine, would have suffered more damage. "My parents. Oh God. They're out there hurt somewhere." Jeff said, struggling to free his arm as he spoke. "I have to go find them. I have to make sure they're alright." Jeff continued, now pushing against whatever was pinning him down. He could feel tears running down his face, mixing with sweat and something that smelled like metal. Jeff didn't want to think about what that was. The wooden structure on top of his arm moved slowly as Jeff pushed, finally inching enough to let the blonde slip his arm out of its grasp.

As soon as Jeff had freed his arm he regretted doing so. Now that he could move freely he could tell that the damage done was much worse that he had thought. It had burned before but now it felt like his entire arm was being ripped apart. Jeff groaned as he tried to move his arm without causing too much pain, a practically impossible feat as Jeff figured out. Gingerly the blonde stood up, trying to make out shapes in the darkness. From what he could tell the entire car had flipped over, the windows were now the ceiling and floor while the ceiling and floor were now the walls. "Nick?" Jeff asked, suddenly realizing he hadn't heard anything from the brunette since the beginning of his little freak out. There was silence for a moment as Jeff felt himself begin to panic again, then, from Jeff's left he heard "Yeah Jeff?"  
The blonde let out a breath that he hadn't even known he had been holding as he heard the familiar voice. "Nick. I thought… Are you alright?" He asked, looking in the direction he had heard Nick's voice coming from but not seeing anything. "Yeah, just a bit beat up. Nothing I can't handle." Nick replied, letting out a painful hiss.

"Are you sure?" Jeff asked, knowing that the sound that had just come out of Nick's mouth could not have been because he was 'just a bit beat up.' Rustling noises came from where Nick stood and Jeff leaned forward, trying to get a glimpse of the brunette. "No. It's pretty bad." Nick admitted after a pause and Jeff felt a wave of cold pass over through him. "What happened?" Jeff asked, trying not to sound as worried as he felt. "Something... I think it burned me. It feels like a burn but ten times worse." Nick said, his voice sounding strange, forced almost.

"Do you know how we can get out?" Jeff asked quietly and Nick grunted. "No. The front entrance is blocked and the back one." There was a pause as Nick took a deep breath. "The back is where I got burned. I don't want to go anywhere near that again." Jeff nodded even though he knew the brunette couldn't see his response. "We have to try. We can crawl out the windows." Jeff said, looking up above him at where he assumed the windows were. He held his right arm up in front of him and began carefully walking forwards, trying not to hit anything or fall. Was this what it was like to be blind, unable to see anything but darkness and having to tread cautiously?

"The windows are all above us. I already tried breaking one and it didn't work." Nick called out, his voice now closer than before. "What do we do then?" Jeff asked quietly as he slowly walked closer to Nick until the two were face to face. "We wait." Nick replied, his voice a mixture of fear and sadness. "While we do let me check your arm. Sit down." Nick demanded, pulling Jeff to the floor. There was silence between the two as Nick poked and prodded at Jeff's arm. It was during this silence that Jeff first noticed the sounds coming from outside. The first sound he heard was the crackle and pop of a fire, the second was the screams. People, they sounded far away but Jeff knew they couldn't be, calling out for their family or crying out in grief and pain.

"Nick..." Jeff whispered, feeling Nick freeze before continuing to prod at his arm. "Just... Try not to think about it, okay?" Nick asked, his voice shaking. "You're... You're bleeding pretty badly, I'm trying to stop the bleeding but it's going to hurt. I'm sorry." Jeff nodded and bit his lip, trying to mentally prepare himself for whatever pain was coming his way. No preparation could have prepared Jeff for the pain that shot up his arm as Nick began to tie something around it though. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It's almost over." Nick said over Jeff's whimpers. Jeff nodded as he waited for the pain to subside. He felt dizzy and tired, and just wanted to sleep. "Jeff? Jeff! Don't fall asleep on me." Nick's voice called out as Jeff closed his eyes. He wanted to open his eyes, tell Nick that it was okay, to just relax, but he was so tired.

When Jeff woke up he, surprisingly, wasn't in pain. He wasn't in the train anymore either. He was in a room of some sort and it seemed to be bare except for him. Carefully Jeff looked around, trying to gather his bearings. He couldn't tell where he was. The room he was in wasn't even really a room. It was place, an unidentifiable place. "Hello." A familiar voice called from behind him. Quickly Jeff turned around to see Jean standing a few feet away, a small smile on her face. "Jean. What's going on? Where's the train?" He asked and Jean shook her head. "This is not really… It's hard to explain but we're not anywhere near the train anymore." Jeff stared at his sister for a moment, confused by what she was saying. "What do you mean?" He asked but Jean just shook her head. "This has to be quick. Nick has already passed through and agreed but you must too for this to happen." Jeff's heart skipped a beat as he thought of the brunette. "Nick? Where is he? Is he alright?" Jeff asked and Jean shook her head. "He's alright now. Listen to me though Jeff. The love between you and Nikolai. It was something strong and it was supposed to last. It was meant to last. It still can if you want it to." She explained and Jeff raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Jean what are you…?" He asked and Jean smiled. "You can be together again. You are meant to live through this Jeff but once you die both you and Nikolai can be reincarnated, brought back as other people." Jeff nodded, feeling his heart yearn for the brunette. "I'll do it." He said but Jean held up a hand. "Wait. If you accept there's no telling what will happen. You may go through many lives without seeing Nikolai and even if you do see him, meet him, fall in love, there's no guarantee that you won't reincarnate again once you've died." Jeff nodded, feeling a tug at his arm. He glanced behind him but saw nothing. "You must make a decision now Jeff but chose wisely." Jean said and Jeff nodded. "I accept. I want to see him again." Jeff said, his voice steady. Jean nodded and smiled, pulling her older brother in for a hug. "You're dead aren't you?" Jeff whispered and Jean nodded again. "We'll see each other again big brother, don't you worry." She said with a smile as she pulled away and Jeff felt the tugging on his arm grow stronger. "I love you." He said as he looked at his younger sister before giving into the tug and being whisked away.

The next time Jeff woke up he could tell that he was back in reality. First of all his arm felt like it was being sawed off and second of all he could tell just from the sounds that he was in a hospital. Jeff let out a soft moan as he tried to move his arm but found he couldn't. "Jeff?" A familiar voice called out and Jeff turned his head. "Aunt Eleanor?" Jeff asked, surprised to see his dark blonde haired aunt sitting next to his bed. "Hey Jeff. How are you feeling?" She asked softly and Jeff paused to look into her eyes. They looked tired, sad, almost like they'd aged two fold since he'd last seen them. "Where's my family?" He asked and Eleanor's face fell slightly. "No. They're not…" "Not all of them." Eleanor said quickly, tears springing to her eyes as she spoke. "Your sister and mother were sent to the hospital in Rockport while you, Joseph, and your papa were taken to Easton, where you are now." Jeff nodded slightly. "You said not all of them." He replied, wanting to go back to the place from before, back to Jean. "Jean's dead isn't she?" He asked suddenly and Eleanor started slightly before sighing. "Yes." She replied and Jeff nodded, biting back tears. "What about Nick?" He asked and Eleanor gave him a look of confusion. "There was someone else in the train with me. Right next to me." Jeff said, desperate to know what had happened to the brunette. "Oh, Jeff. He was dead before you were even found." Eleanor said and Jeff felt tears begin to run down his face. His entire world was crumbling around him. "He saved you though. He stemmed the bleeding in your arm. If he hadn't done that you would have died." Eleanor said and Jeff nodded, feeling suddenly numb. He didn't respond to any more of what his aunt said to him and hardly paid attention when she spoke, choosing instead to close himself off and try not to think about what had happened.

The train wreck in Rockport, New Jersey was considered by many one of the worst wrecks the United States had ever seen. Called by some the Titanic of trains over fifty people were killed in the collision and hundreds more were injured. Heroes were found in the aftermath of the wreck and newspapers and civilians demanded an answer to what had happened. After an extensive investigation authorities chalked the wreck up to nothing more than debris from the heavy rain that had fallen onto the tracks. "An act of God." One reporter wrote. Jeffery Sterling could never consider the accident an act of God. He saw the true aftermath of the disaster, the one newspapers didn't cover. He watched as his family healed from their injuries and grieved over the death of their daughter and sister. He listened as his parents cried when they didn't think he and Joseph were listening and he felt, the pain, both physical and emotional.

He listened to Nick's advice. He continued on with his life no matter how much it hurt him to do so. He moved to New York City and enrolled in New York University, studying English. By the time the Second World War arrived Jeff was working in a secondary school, teaching young men about Shakespeare, Keats, and Shelly. He watched as the young men went away to war and never returned, remembering the brunette boy he'd met all those years ago on an ill-fated train ride. He never did settle down. Not in that life. He lived surrounded by friends but never by a lover. He tried but no matter how much he wanted to forget he could not stop comparing the other suitors to Nick. Never before had he seen eyes twinkle the way Nick's had and never again in that lifetime would he. Jeff spent many nights dreaming of the day that he and Nick would meet again and secretly longed for the day he died so that he would be one step closer to seeing the brunette. To escape these thoughts Jeff himself joined the army, helping with the war efforts in any way possible. He was soon shipped overseas and at just 36 died on the front lines. Despite the pain that his fellow soldiers were sure Jeffery Steffins was in they told his family that he died with a smile on his face, as if he knew that he was going somewhere great.

**A/N 2: So yep, reincarnation. I'm still working out time lines for the rest of this story but hopefully there'll be an update soon. In the mean time go check out my Sebastian Smythe story ****_Broken Bits of Glass (_****which I'll be updating quite soon) and favorite, subscribe, and review this story! Thanks everyone!**


	3. A Place of No Return

**A/N- Whoa. Shocked and amazed by the response this fic has gotten so far! Thank you all for the favorites, subscribes, and comments. I should probably add a warning of angst and character death huh? I'll try to work that into the description. There are more notes at the bottom but I won't bore you with that right now so here's the basics: I don't own Glee or Fox. I am not affiliated with them and have no rights to Nick, Jeff, or any other characters in this story that comply with glee characters. I also do not mean to offend anyone who has family that was affected by any of the events that take place throughout this story. It is not my intention to harm and while I have tried to keep things as accurate as possible I have taken some artistic liberties. Thank you.**

Name: Nicholas Duncan  
Location: Detroit, MI  
Death day: 26 July 1967  
Age: 24 years old.

"Coming up after the break: the latest update on the riots breaking out all over Detroit and how you can stay safe. I'm Samuel Evans and you're listening to Local News at five." Nick sighed as he turned down the radio's volume, glancing worriedly out the window before continuing to sweep. Riots had broken out earlier the day before and, despite the police originally saying that things were under control, the riots had spread out across the city. From what Nick had heard on the radio, both at home and at work, the rioters were doing everything from beating up civilians to robbing and setting shops, shops like the one Nick worked in, on fire.

Mr. Holmes, Nick's boss, had told Nick to stay home if he felt unsafe but Nick really needed the money. Student loans were proving hard to pay off and Nick needed to fuel his dreams and get out to San Francisco so in to work he went. As far as he'd heard so far the riots hadn't been anywhere near Mr. Holmes' grocery store but no one knew how these groups were moving, where they were planning to go next. The thought that the angry rioters could march up to Holmes' Grocer at any moment scared Nick and had made him jumpy and jitter-ish all day. He didn't know what he'd do when faced with a mob of angry people. From what the radio said the riots were race related and Nick, being half Irish and half Italian, definitely wouldn't be able to blend in with a mob that consisted of primarily African American men.

The more Nick thought about the riots the more worried he became. When the phone rang he jumped, dropping his broom on the ground with a loud thump. "Hello, Holmes' Grocer." He answered, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. "Nick? Nick is that you?" A familiar voice called out, voice crackling slightly. "David, what... Why are you calling?" Nick asked, a feeling of dread sinking into his stomach. David, one of Nick's best friends since high school, lived down the street from the grocery store and would have just walked in if he'd wanted to chat. "They're headed your way man." David replied, the panic and seriousness in his voice confirming Nick's fears. "What should I do?" Nick asked, cradling the phone in his hand as he looked around the store for a potential weapon.

"Hide. Leave. Just get out of there okay? They threw bricks through the windows of the record store." David said and Nick's eyes widened. He knew things were getting violent but he had no idea the violence was spreading so far down 12th Street. "I can't just run out of the store. The front is the only entrance Dave!" Nick cried out as he realized how trapped he was. "Shit man, if they loot you just let them okay? Don't get them mad." David said. His advice was obvious but it managed to calm Nick at least a bit. That is, until the door to the grocery store opened with a loud thump.

Everything happened so fast afterwards that it took Nick a minute to realize what had happened. The door opened and he heard a sound like a fire cracker going off and suddenly he was on the ground, almost like he'd been punched forcefully. It took him another few moments to notice the warmth spreading over his stomach. Nick placed a hand on his belly and brought it up to his face, shocked to see how red it was. 'I must have been shot.' He thought, staring at his hand as he tried to let this thought sink in.

He'd been shot but why couldn't he feel anything? Wasn't it supposed to hurt? Nick looked up at the looters, four men busy raiding the shelves, and then back at his hand. He watched it shake as if it were someone else's hand. That had to be it. It felt like it was someone else's hand because it was someone else hand and that was someone else's blood. Nick felt a wave of relief that he wasn't actually bleeding before he lost consciousness, letting his head rest against the counter with a thud.

Nick was standing at Niagara Falls. It was 1925 and he was surrounded by nature. He could see the water and mist from his spot and he didn't want to leave. "Durov, get your arse on the train." A voice, Nick knew it was someone named Wesley, called out and Nick turned. He was confused. His name wasn't Durov. But at the same time it was. He was Durov and Duncan at the same time. Quickly he began to climb back on the train, already feeling sick of it. Suddenly a flash of yellow hair appeared out of the corner of his eye and Nick turned again. A boy was standing not far from the train and he was so beautiful that Nick felt his stomach drop. The boy caught his eye and Nick smiled before turning once again and boarding the train.

Things began to swirl and change and suddenly Nick was in a different place. He was obviously still in the train, and the beautiful boy- Jeff, his name was Jeff, was still there but now Nick felt horrified and watched as a pudding fell into Jeff's lap. Everything began to swirl again but this time Nick could hear a conversation.  
"It's a necktie."  
"Yes, it is." He replied. It was his voice at least. He couldn't remember ever saying those words though.  
"It's red."  
"Yes."  
"Are you...?"  
"Yes." Nick felt fear as he heard himself say this. Fear of rejection and fear of being shunned.  
"Alright."  
"Alright?" Relief now.  
"Did you want me to get angry or something?"  
"No, that's fine. Just not the normal reaction." Happiness. Hope.  
"I'm not against it. Homosexuality." He felt like he would burst he was so happy.  
"I'm actually..."  
"I'm Nikolai, call me Nick..."

"Nick, wake up. Come on man, wake up." A familiar voice drifted through the... Dream? Memory? It was Dave, Nick was sure of it. "Dav'?" Nick asked, his head swimming. He was definitely back in Detroit, in present day, but part of him was still in the dream. He could still hear snippets of conversation and could practically see scenes playing out. He and Jeff sneaking through the train, talking about their families, their passions, their lives. They were soul mates, Nick was sure of it. They were meant to be together. Why weren't they though? Nick blinked a few times, suddenly feeling pain. Not real pain though, pain of a different sense, almost like the pain you feel remembering a nasty accident. Nick felt confused. He was in Detroit but he was also on a train. A train that had taken its last trip over forty years ago.

Suddenly it made sense. He'd died. Not in the grocery store on 12th Street but on the train, with his beautiful blonde. But something odd had happened. He'd been given a second chance to find Jeff. He'd had his chance and had failed it. He'd been brought back just to end up dying again, this time bleeding out on the linoleum floor of a grocery store. For a moment Nick wondered if this was all real but the thought disappeared almost instantly. Of course it was real. Nick could feel David trying to stem the bleeding to his stomach and could also feel his arms wrapped tightly around Jeff. He'd failed though. He hadn't found Jeff.

As the thought that he'd failed Jeff sunk in Nick let out a groan, feeling his heart breaking. He had been brought back somehow, given this amazing chance and he'd lost it. He could feel himself crying, could hear David calling out to him, but it all felt hazy, far away. Images of the train and of Jeff continued to play out in Nick's head. The two had only spent a day or so together but the memories just kept coming until Nick realized that everything had come back to him. He could remember everything about that trip, about his death, and even about his past life. He had sisters, parents, and friends.

David had been there. He'd been on the train but he was back too, he was there. "David." Nick said, his own voice sounding far away, as if someone else was speaking, not him. Nick wondered how many other people in his life had been a part of Nicholai's too. Nick heard David reply but it was muffled, almost unintelligible. "I'll never see him again." Nick whispered, closing his eyes and trying to make the spinning of images and sounds stop. "You will see him again." A voice called out and Nick opened his eyes, realizing he wasn't in the grocery store anymore. He was in a familiar bare room. _I've been here before. The last time I died…_ He thought. As Nick looked around at the room he let the idea that he was dead sink in. "What do you mean I'll see him again?" Nick asked, his voice sounding stronger than he felt.

"You will see Jeff again. You are destined to keep coming back until you are reunited again." The voice said and Nick nodded, knowing this was the truth. He could remember it all now. The train, seeing Jeff, talking to him, dying the first time, promising to find a way back to his blonde. He'd died again, and part of Nick felt sad about that, about the life he'd lost, but part of him was glad. He was one step closer to finding Jeff now. Nick nodded to the bodiless voice, standing up and walking towards a door that had not been there before. He knew what to do. Walk through that door and find his way back to Jeff. "I'm coming Jeffie." He whispered before opening the door and walking through.

A/N 2- Alright so I hope you liked this! It is much shorter than the previous two chapters but I hope you all don't mind that too much. Jeff's chapter is up next. In the meantime I made a tumblog for this story. I think I'll post little head canons I have and info about the actually history behind the story as well as what I came up with for time lines etc. The url is starcrossedcrossroads. Also leave your thoughts in the comments or PM me! If you want to keep up with this story Subscribe to it and if you like it comment and favorite!


	4. I Hesitate to Preach of Heaven

A/N: Oh look, a new chapter! Hello all. Sorry this took so long. If you follow the tumblr you'll know that had a lot I wanted to write down for this. In the end I edited quite a lot out. Anyway, here's the newest chapter and there's no character death. I hope you enjoy this nice moment between two of my favorite Warblers.

Jeffery Scahill  
San Francisco, California  
October, 1980  
30 years old.

"Friends and family of the late Nicholas Duncan and David Taylor, young men who died in Detroit's race riots earlier this month, are making national news this week as they plead with local and state officials to put an end to the racial inequality that caused the 12th Street Riots." A news anchor said as pictures of the riot flicked across the screen. "Yeah right." Wesley Montgomery, a second generation Chinese immigrant and soon to be intern at City Hall, said with a scoff as sat back in his seat. "What?" his friend, Jeff Scahill, asked, looking up at the TV just as dark brown hair faded from view.

_A flash of red. Dark brown hair. Jeff turned to see who, or what, had caught his eye._

"It's just, they're trying to fix a city that can't be fixed." Wesley replied with a shake of his head. "Well, they can still try. Weren't you saying earlier how all the victims would be forgotten? These people are trying to make them be remembered." Jeff reasoned as he closed the sketchbook he had previously been scribbling in.

_There was a train lined with red curtains. _

"I guess but at the same time, years from now who will remember their fight? Who will remember any of them?" Wesley asked as the news anchor continued to talk about the riots.

"Someone will, someone somewhere will remember them. That's what matters." Jeff said confidently as the anchor turned his attention back to the two men who'd died. "Wouldn't you rather have more people know though?" Wesley asked and Jeff shook his head. This was one argument that Jeff and his roommate could never see eye to eye on. Jeff had always believed that, when trying to get a point across, as long as you reach one person you're successful. Wesley on the other had always went for quantity instead, wanting to get his message out to a larger crowd than to a smaller one. "But…." Jeff's argument died on his lips as photos of David Taylor and Nicholas Duncan appeared on screen. They both looked achingly familiar to Jeff.

_Red was everywhere. Red upholstery on a chair. Red fabric around the neck of a brown haired, beautiful man. Red liquid flowing out of an arm, his arm._

"Jeff? Jeff, are you okay?" Wesley's voice broke through Jeff's sea of red. "Yeah, I'm… I'm fine." He replied, shaking his head, attempting to pull away from the sudden feeling of detachment that had washed over him. "You sure? You look sick…" Wesley replied, his voice sounding worried and maybe a bit panicky. "Yeah, I'm fine, I promise!" Jeff said with a nod and a smile, trying to focus on what was being said on TV. There was an African American woman on screen now and Jeff could tell just by looking that she had been David Taylor's mother. They had the same nose. "They've been friends since high school." She was saying, her voice quavering but never cracking. "David was planning on going into politics, helping to clean this city up. Nick wanted to move to San Francisco, help out there. They both cared so much about the world around them. Both wanted to help change it."

_Pudding falling into a lap._

Jeff could hear the news continue on but it sounded suddenly very far away, like it had been taken to a different room of the apartment.

_Whispered confessions. Conflicting feelings._

"Jeff?" Wesley's voice broke through briefly before a familiar voice, Wesley's voice, spoke. It wasn't Wesley though. It was Wesley but it wasn't. This voice, although familiar, was laced with a Chinese accent. It wasn't Wesley, it was Wes.

"_Aye ya! Don't just stand there Nikolai." _

Jeff looked over at Wesley, his Wesley, trying to focus on him and his annoying green beanie.

He could hear a train chug chug chugging.

That was wrong though. He and Wesley's apartment was nowhere near the train tracks. "You should go lie down." Wesley was saying and Jeff felt himself nod before looking back at the TV where Nicholas Duncan's face was once again displayed.

Jeff knew him, he was sure of it. He knew his voice.

_"Your idea of interesting is having pudding spilled on you? Fun." _

His smile.

"_You should see the places I've been Jeffrey, you'd love it." _

His love.

_It was late at night and practically everyone was asleep but he and someone else were lying together in a nearly empty room, talking about everything._

Jeff didn't know him though. He could remember every lover he'd had and Nick Duncan, this Detroit native, had never been one of them.

Jeff felt as Wesley stood him up and led him to his room.

_The movement of the train made the entire room sway slightly._

He wasn't on a train though. He was in his apartment. His nonmoving apartment in San Francisco. But he wasn't. Part of him felt miles and years away.

_June 1925. Jeff was traveling with his family to New Jersey._

Jeff had never done that though. He'd never been farther east than Utah. He had been born in Fresno before running upstate to San Francisco as soon as possible. Even then he'd traveled by bus, never by train. Jeff could feel his head spinning in confusion. What was going on? What were these images doing in his head? They felt like memories but they couldn't be, these were things that had never happened to him.

Jeff didn't realize he'd fallen asleep, or had even made it back to his room, until he woke up early the next morning. His dreams had been full of red neckties, old trains, and beautiful brown eyes. When he opened his eyes and saw the familiar walls of his room Jeff had hoped that the…. visions were over. They weren't. As Jeff lay in bed and became more awake, more alert, the visions became stronger. When he closed his eyes he was no longer in his and Wesley's cramped apartment on the edge of Chinatown. Instead he was in a train car, far away and long ago. Familiar faces and voices appeared in these visions, Jeff wouldn't call them memories. Wesley was there, he was Wes though, and Nick and David, the two who'd been killed in Detroit, were there too. Nick's name had been Nichoai Durov back then though. He had been Russian and he Wes, and David all worked together on the train.

That's where he and Nick had met, on that train, but Jeff hadn't been alone before that. He'd had a family. A sister, a brother, a father, and a mother. He had loved them so much, more than he could ever love his real parents with their narrow-mindedness and strict rules. No, this family had been strict and conservative but so had the entire country. There had been one person though in his life who'd been open minded. An aunt, who whispered words of encouragement to him when he needed it.

"_There is nothing wrong with you Jeffery, it's the world that's wrong."_

Jeff shook his head and rubbed the palms of his hands against his eyelids, hoping these visions would go away. They didn't though. They just kept coming, playing out like a never ending film. A film about a life that Jeff was familiar with yet had never lived. As the day turned into two and then the two days turned into four Jeff felt himself begin to go insane.

An entire life was playing out in his head and he was living it in bits and pieces that didn't make sense. By the fifth day Jeff was sure that the person whose visions these were was definitely him, or some version of him, just like the railroad worker, Wes, was some version of Wesley. Him but not him. Jeff couldn't understand why he was remembering these though, why the memories were coming to him now and in scattered pieces. The idea of having to live the rest of his life half in reality and half in Other Jeff's world scared Jeff and, in the solitude of his bedroom, he tried everything he could think of to stop the visions from coming. Everything from standing on his head to smoking all the weed he could find. None of it worked though. The head stand just made him feel dizzier and the weed just made him feel more relaxed about the flood of memories.

Relaxed was better than nothing though and Jeff gave in, deciding that if he was stuck with the memories he should at least be calm about it. Sometimes though, when the effects of the drug were starting to where off, Jeff would go into something close to a panic. The memories would suddenly become darker, scarier. It wasn't coming off the high that was scary though (that in itself was never scary, Jeff just stopped feeling as relaxed), it was the memories themselves that were scary. It started just as feelings of confusion and fear of being accepted and quickly turned into memories of disaster.

_Everything was flying and the world seemed like it had been tipped on its side. He could hear screaming from far away and suddenly the lights went out and they plunged into darkness._

_He felt himself hit glass and metal. Had just enough time to recognize that it was a window before passing out._

Sometimes words would accompany the visions and these made Jeff's stomach twist into knots. They explained things that neither Jeff nor Other Jeff had been able to see before.

"_The train crashed."_

"_Our entire car disconnected from the rest of the train. Everything tipped over."_

Emotions sometimes tied in with the words. A sudden feeling of panic, of worry for a family that didn't really exist. Worry for a brunette injured next to him. A brunette with eyes that sparkled.

Nick. That had been Nick. But…. How?

Jeff could feel himself begin to panic, this time not because of what Other Jeff was feeling but because he had no idea why this was happening to him. He was going insane for sure. He would have to be locked up and medicated for the rest of his life. As Jeff tried to keep his breathing normal and make his mind relax, pulling is knees to his chest as he concentrated on breathing in and out, he didn't hear as his door opened and Wesley walked in.

He didn't even realize his friend was in the room until the Asian male was sitting next to him, draping an arm over his shoulder. "Jeff, what's going on?" He asked, making Jeff jump in shock. "W-wes?" Jeff asked. He was pretty sure that this voice was coming from his reality, not Other Jeff's, but he couldn't be certain. "Nope, not Wes. Wesley. I've told you I hate being called that." Wesley replied. Something about his voice sounded odd though. It was almost as if he was holding something back.

"Jeff, tell me what's wrong. You've been holed up in your room for almost a week now doing nothing but sitting in bed smoking." Jeff shook his head as Wesley spoke. He may be crazy but that didn't mean he wanted to go to some asylum. He had heard the horror stories about those places and didn't want to make that his permanent residence any time soon. "Jeff, please. I'm getting really worried. I almost called Doc Barney." Wesley pleaded and Jeff's eyes widened. Wesley had saved a man, a doctor, from being mugged a half a year or so back and, in return, the man said that he would make a house call to Wesley and Jeff if they were ever in dire need of a doctor. Wesley had refused to call him yet, never finding an emergency that worried him enough to seek medical attention.

"I think I'm going insane." Jeff blurted out as quickly as possible, pulling his knees to his chest and bracing himself for Wesley's reaction. The older male had taken Jeff in a little over a year ago, after Jeff had run away from home. Over that year Wesley had become a strange mix of father, brother, and best friend that Jeff desperately needed. While there was a five year age gap between the two they got along wonderfully but Jeff wondered how much that would change when Wesley realized that he was insane.

Jeff felt Wesley stiffen beside him and braced himself for yelling. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes but he swore he wouldn't cry. "What do you mean Jeffster?" Wesley asked, using the nickname he had given the blonde not long after his arrival in the Bay area. "I'm... I'm seeing things. They're memories. They're mine but not mine." Jeff tried to explain, fumbling with the words. He sounded crazy. Absolutely insane. Wesley just nodded though. "What do you mean yours but not?" He asked, sounding every bit like the answer seeking professor he planned to be.

"I keep seeing... seeing a train. And I'm on it. So are you. But there's this guy. And he's the one from Detroit. Nick. But. We... we connected and... I don't know. Fire. The train crashed." Jeff shook his head, remembering it all.

_"We're going on an adventure."_

_Rain beat down on him as he hopped from train car to train car, trying not to think about the possibility of falling off the side. _

"_It's alright, I'm right here!" _

_He could hear screaming from far away and suddenly the lights went out. _

"_The train crashed. It- I don't know what happened but our entire car disconnected from the rest of the train. Everything tipped over."_

_He felt panic because the train had just crashed. People were screaming out there. People were hurt._

"_Something... I think it burned me. It feels like a burn but ten times worse."_

_Panic because Nick was hurt._

"_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."_

"Listen, Jeff…. You're going to think this is insane-" "I'm seeing memories that aren't mine Wesley. You can't get much crazier than that." Jeff interrupted his friend who shook his head with an amused smile. "Alright but… okay…" Wesley chewed at his bottom lip, obviously trying to figure out how to word whatever he was about to say. "Well, you… Those memories? They're yours. But they're not _yours._ They're yours from another life. If I'm correct you've been reincarnated." Wesley said quickly, glancing over at Jeff as he spit out his explanation.

Jeff stared at his friend with wide eyes as he let what Wesley had said sink in. "I take it back." He finally replied, tucking his head into the space between his arms and knees. "That's insane." Wesley laughed dryly and shook his head. "Think about it. It makes sense. There's this weird thing about… about reincarnations. You don't remember them until you see the other person and you did. You saw Nick on the TV and it triggered that little part of your mind." Jeff shook his head, not wanting to hear any more of what Wesley had to say. It couldn't be true. Wesley was just as insane has he was.

But it was the only explanation and something inside Jeff knew it was the truth. He and Nick were reincarnations of their previous selves. "It can't be true. It's not Wesley, it's not." Jeff said quietly, hoping that the older man would admit that it was all an elaborate joke. "I'm sorry Jeffster." Wesley replied, pulling Jeff into a hug.

The two sat like that, Wesley hugging Jeff, until Jeff's legs started to protest and he had to move. "How do you even know about all this stuff anyway?" He asked as he slowly pried himself from Wesley's embrace and stood up. "You could say I've lived through it I guess." Jeff's jaw dropped. "What?" He asked, turning to face his friend, whose expression could be described only as sheepish. "Yeah… Becca and I…" "That's why I saw you. Well... Other Jeff saw you. You were on the train with Nick and I. That was you." Jeff said quietly, letting the last of the puzzle pieces snap into place.

"Yeah. That was me. Or a past me. Even I don't know all the details of this reincarnation stuff." Wesley explained and Jeff nodded. "How… If you don't see your…" Jeff paused, trying to find the word to describe him and Nick. "Soul mate?" Wesley supplied and Jeff nodded. "Yeah, soul mate. What happens if you don't see them before you die?" Jeff asked hesitantly. As far as he knew Nick had never seen him in his life, had he died not knowing about Jeff?

"We… If we don't see our soul mates before we die we see them as we die. It's a lot like what you're going through but usually more peaceful. Less confusing." Wesley explained in a tone that only came from someone who experienced it. "Oh… How does this… cycle stop? Does it?" Jeff wondered if he'd spend the rest of forever chasing after the brunette. For some reason he didn't hate the idea.

"I don't know. From what I've heard once you find your soul mate and live the life together you were supposed to then, when you die in that life, your soul is put to rest." Wesley answered with a shrug. "I'm hoping that this time will be that time for me. I love Becca but… chasing her… I've been doing it for centuries. I think it's time we settle." Jeff looked at his friend, eyebrows raised. It all sounded so crazy, like something out of a corny movie. It was real though. It was real and it was his life.

"Now what do I do? What do I do now that he's gone?" Jeff asked, suddenly afraid of the idea of having to live a lifetime without Nick there. "You can do a few things. You can… um… follow him… or you can wait. Live this life all the way through. Either way you'll see him." Wesley replied and Jeff nodded. "And if I wait? How long? How long do I wait?" Wesley shook his head. "No one's sure. But we usually don't stay for too long after our other half dies." Jeff nodded again, looking out the window at the street below. He didn't want to leave this life. He liked it. He liked San Francisco and Wesley and their tiny apartment. He wanted to hang around and see the city grow, see Becca and Wesley get married, and live. "I think I can wait." He finally said, looking over at Wes with a smile. Nick was gone but that didn't mean Jeff had to stop living. Not this life.

A/N 2: There was so much I wanted to write in this chapter. I had so much content but the chapter was getting out of hand and I decided it was best if I cut it down. I'll have my head canon for the rest of this Jeff's life up on tumblr soon so go check it out and follow (starcrossedcrossroads). Also, if you want, review this and tell me what you think. And as always thanks for reading!


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